The interview series with Love and Logic speaker Jedd Hafer ends with my questions to him about 2 real life scenarios that have come from my classes.
Question 8. Jedd, but not too long ago a situation similar to the following came up in one of my Love and Logic classes. I'd love your input.
Scenario: Danny (name changed) is in 7th grade. His mom thinks that he doesn’t manage time well and is not happy with his grades. He is allowed to play 30 minutes of video games on school nights but complains that this is not even enough to get started. His friends have gaming events where they stay up all night playing but his Mom won’t let him go. The battleground has become so frustrating that Danny’s mom has asked for help.
First, I think mom should stick to her guns – limiting it to 30 min. and not allowing her 7th –grader to attend the all-night gaming events.
If he keeps fighting her (now it becomes a problem for someone else – her), then, I think I’d go back and start from zero. Remove the device (or the controllers & all the game discs if that’s easier) while he’s away at school. Be ready for a freakout. Time this on a day when you have some additional leverage and/or some backup. Respond to the fit w/ lots of empathy and few words.
Her magic phrase becomes, “And we can bring it back when I know it won’t cause a problem.”
When he earns it back, he is much less likely to test her – much more likely to appreciate the time he does get.
Next and last post in this series: One more scenario and concluding comments.