Saturday, March 5, 2011

Be okay with screaming (Theirs not yours!)

It's a true statement: Sometime things get worse before they get better! 

If you are just starting to use love and logic, your children may not be very happy with you.  The battle for control is on!   Ultimately they need to know that crying , screaming, or bad behavior cannot be used to control you and get their way!

Remember, you can give them lots of control back through choices.  (See my next blog post) but if it's time to leave and you have given your pre-schooler the choice of putting his or her shoes on in time or wearing the pair you put in a bag for them (not their favorites) - then just do it!  Coach yourself to remain calm.  You're happy with the choice they made.  But, they may be screaming and crying all the way to school.  Really it won't hurt them.  If they know you mean business, the behavior will change. 

What if you get to school and they are still crying.  Lovingly shepherd them inside.  Use empathy, "some mornings are so hard!"  Clue the teacher in  (or better yet call her the day before and tell her what you're doing) and leave.

You are not being heartless!  You are not a bad parent... you are in a battle to raise a thoughtful, kind, polite, loving child.  Sometimes it's going to be tough!

Heres a Love and Logic resource that might help:
Love and Logic Magic When Kids Drain your Energy (Audio CD)

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