If you find yourself asking 20 (or 40) questions and getting few answers from your children at the end of the day then maybe it's time to stop "grilling".
Dr. Charles Fay suggest using this technique to get kids to talk:
- Avoid all temptations to ask any questions for the first 30 minutes after school.
- Instead, talk with excitement and enthusiasm about your own day. Model the things you wish they would talk to you about:
Hi guys! I am so glad to see you. Guess what happened to me today.... I learned.... and then before I went home I heard that.... I just could not wait to tell you about my day. I hope you had an awesome day too!
Dr. Fay suggest you try this for 2 months without any grilling and sooner or later you'll find one of your kids saying... "Guess what happened to me today?"
This also works great with spouses and in-laws.
I learned something else at my Chiropractor's office. They must have been fed up with the negative attitudes and complaining of their patients because all of a sudden they began greeting us with questions geared to channel our thoughts in a more positive direction. "What good things are happening in your life?" It worked on me and at the time I was doing gruelling physical therapy after a fall resulting in 2 broken elbows. Focusing on the positive was helpful. We can all use this technique as we talk with our families to minimize useless grumbling and complaining. (You can do it and still steer away from grilling by talking about your day in positive ways.)