Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Calmly Following Through with Consequences

Parenting by Design is a Love and Logic friendly web site for anyone also looking for a biblical connection to Love and Logic. Since the moms and I talked a lot in class the last two days about empathy, "going brain dead" and using fewer words I was excited when I saw today's e-mail devotion. So, I am sharing it with you so that you:

Numbers 14:18: "The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished..." (NIV).

What prevents you from calmly following through with consequences when your kids sin or rebel? I resisted giving consequences because I wanted to avoid angry responses such as: "Chill, mom!" "You're mean." Or, "I'll do it later." Instead, I tried reasoning with them, but this usually backfired. I tried arguing my point, but the more I talked, the angrier they seemed to become. I was hiding behind words (nagging, reminding and arguing) to avoid giving consequences.

When you receive an angry response, don't escalate the situation by nagging or replying in anger. Words are easy. You may think you are being "strong" when you argue your point forcefully or make dictatorial decrees, but the truth is it takes more strength to restrain your tongue and give consequences calmly and with empathy. That is a model of real strength. Confront rebellion calmly and deliver consequences, rather than words. "

You can visit http://www.parentingbydesign.com/ for more resources to help you parent by God's perfect design.

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