Sunday, June 28, 2009

Adapting to Love and Logic

I value the advice parenting advice from Focus on the Family. A recent article of their website is worth noting. I am including the link below. (You may have to cut and paste it into a search engine.)

But here's the thing... sometimes the ideas are awesome but don't match a Love and Logic philosophy without a bit of tweaking. So, I thought I'd take the ideas from the linked article and adapt them to L&L so you can see how that works.

Topic: Messiness

Focus on the Family: "Here's a solution for a perpetually messy bedroom: Explain to your child, "I cannot bear to look at this room anymore — it's too messy! I'm going to turn off the circuit breaker so I can't see it. When it's clean enough for me to tolerate, let me know and I'll turn your power back on." "

Love and Logic
Parent: "This is so sad. It hurts my eyes to look at a messy room. I'm going to have to do something about that. I don't know what yet. try not to worry." (A little while later shut off the breaker to that room)

When your child complains about no electricity you can say, "I know. I utrned off the circuit breaker so I didn't have to see the messy room because it hurts my eyes. Just let me know when I can flip it back on."

Not much difference? There really isn't but I tweaked it so that the parent could lead with empathy before locking in consequences. Also, I used the delayed consequence technique and further clarified that the parent was saying "what they would do" not telling the child what they had to do. (To move thinking from the brain stem to frontal lobe.)

More in 2 days! Take care!

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