Friday, May 15, 2009

Should We Let Infants "Cry it Out" at Bedtime?

(Have you gone to and signed up for the Insider's Club newsletter? This is the Insider's Club message from May 13. It's also a way to get discounts! Dr. Jim Fay wrote the following article.)

"Don't Let Your Baby "Cry It Out
There's nothing more important during the first two years of a child's life than feeling the love and comfort of one's parents! Some folks worry about "spoiling" their babies. They think, "If we hold her too much she'll be needy." Others fret, "He'll never learn how to calm himself down if we comfort him too much when he cries." Some even argue, "Well, he's just trying to get his way when he cries."

THESE ARE MYTHS! It's impossible to spoil a baby by holding them too much, comforting them when they cry, or giving them too much attention. This nurturing and love teaches us to nurture and love. As a result, we feel bad when we act badly. We have a strong conscience that guides our way. What's our advice for parenting tots younger than two? Smile at them as much as possible, comfort them when they cry, hold them with loving arms, whisper sweet stuff in their ears, and let them see how much fun you're having. As they begin to need more limits, you'll begin to see a child who loves you too much to rebel with much force. "

Jill's LoveandBlogic Addition: Sleep training is different them letting children "cry it out." You can walk back into a bedroom where a little one is crying for your attention at bed time and comfort them, kiss them, say soothing words and not pick them up before leaving. Then you return as needed at longer and longer intervals 1 minute, 3 minutes,5 minutes etc. Often called Ferberizing (after Dr. Ferber who wrote about it), this breaks a child gently of depending on Mom or Dad's presence in order to go to sleep.


  1. This is what we did with our dd at 10 mos. old. We walked in at decreasing frequencies so that she did learn how to calm herself for sleep.

    We still did all the cuddling and rocking and reading before putting her to bed. And we still do at 22 mos. But after just two weeks of working with her, she loves bedtime and takes a nap with no problem.

    I got tons of advice that scared me and I had to buy Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child. Since I had read about the Ferberizing too, we talked it over and came up with what we thought would be best. We certainly did not want her hungry or soiled.

  2. Healty Sleep Habits happy Child is an wonderful book!

  3. It was extremely interesting for me to read this post. Thanks the author for it. I like such topics and everything connected to them. BTW, try to add some images :).


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