Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Thoughtful Limit Setting 2

Love Me Enough to Set Some Limits is an awesome CD you can buy from http://www.loveandlogic.com/ and then listen to over and over again in your car or your kitchen! Here's the plus - firm limit setting builds self esteem!

When do your start setting limits? Dr. Foster Cline says you start setting limits as soon as a child can "spit beets"... in other words it starts when children are in their high chairs!

What would that look like?

A young dad feeding his son experiences his son spitting it all with delight back at him! This is not the time to don a raincoat for protection or burst out laughing. Dad can simply use what Love and Logc refers to as the "Uh Oh Song!" He says " Uh Oh! Time to get down." Then Dad wipes the little guy clean and gently sets him on the floor to play. (No anger needed.) What if the meal wasn't finished and baby might still be hungry? We're talking baby time and attention span here so Dad can wait 10 minutes and try again if his son is still hungry. But if food is spit again Dad uses the "Uh OH" song again. Babies learn very quickly from cause and effect. Dad has effectively set a limit that says, "If you spit at me I will stop feeding you."

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