Monday, June 23, 2008

Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants (Day 3)

Consultant parents set heatlhy boundaries and work hard to guide children. They recognize that really loving your children is about helping them grow to be competent adults with good decision making skills. A consultant parent gives appropriate control away in small areas and saves taking control for times when they need to use it. They focus on knowing that children will experience natural consequences for their actions and that the consequences themselves will be a good teacher. Consultants give empathy as these occur.

Example: The Forgotten Lunch

Consultant Parent: "I am so sorry? What do you want to do about that?"

Child: "Could you bring me a lunch?"

Consultant Parent: "That won't work for my schedule today. What do you want to do?

Child: "The school will let me make a peanut butter sandwhich. I guess I could also ask my

friends to share."

Consultant parent: "Which one of those ideas sounds best to you?"

Child: I think I'll try both.

True story: The child came home excited with what had been shared from friends lunches and made a great connection with the friendly school lunch cook.

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